Monday 13th

Chicken wings come out of the freezer and I fancy something a bit TGI Fridays for tea. To be fair I’ve never been to a TGI Fridays, are they still going? I wonder if I’m missing out on a cultural experience there.

I need a few supplies so pop out to see the Fruit and veg man. As I get to his stall he’s just locking up so I carry on towards Somerfield for a look at their fruit and veg. I’ve never tried Somerfield fruit and veg before, its generally just been the odd pint of milk or loaf from there. I’m proud to say that I’ve used the DIY checkouts though. I should put that on my CV in case the career goes pear shaped and I need to keep the wolf from the door.

Anyhow, they don’t have any baking spuds in Somerfield, so I opt for the mucky charlotte potatoes at the bottom of the display. Only they’re not mucky, they’re clean potatoes ‘dirtied up’ using some weird stuff made out of sawdust that has been coloured to look like mud. What the hell is this? What market research has lead Somerfield to this? Customers must want clean spuds that look like dirty spuds, otherwise Somerfield wouldn’t bother would they? Bonkers.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of these middle class anti-supermarket bores - I like to spread the wealth, buy for a good price, and buy quality, and that doesn’t exclude shaking hands with Mr Tesco - but how did we get as far as mucked up clean spuds?

After cleaning the spuds (the stuff comes off easy under the tap) and making wedges, they go in the oven in olive oil. The chicken wings have been marinating in a mixture of honey, the juice of one orange, and olive oil. They also go in the oven, with occasional basting, until they are dark and sticky.

So chicken, wedges, coleslaw from Somerfield, and some home made guacamole make up a ‘finger lickin’ feast.